Tremendous Dynamite

"She is a formidable opponent. 

She could put up a hard-won fight. 

Got her head screwed on real tight. 

Being the bomb's her birthright. 

She's tremendous.  She's dynamite."

--the Eels

I am a Runner.  I run slowly.  Sometimes I'm too busy--no, that's not it--my children are too busy, and I have to miss my run.  I have gone years without running because of babies, work, self-neglect, but I am a Runner nonetheless.

My three mile walk to drain that last ten pounds of baby fat slowly sped up to a 7 to 9 mile run three times a week (if I'm lucky!)  I ran my first half marathon this spring.  I bought a tank top with a dorky runner's quotation.  Yep, a Runner I am.

I stretch, finding my playlist as traffic behind me starts and stops.  And then I'm off.  One foot  in front of the other as my body heats up and my shoulders relax, serenaded by Ritchie Havens, Iggy Pop, Blondie.  One foot in front of the other as my breathing falls into its own song, the sun sets behind me stretching out my shadow into the lean, mean running machine I know is hiding inside me.  I feel the raw power of this silhouette, the promise of amazonian strength, earth-mother endurance.  My silent avatar reflects what no mirror can:  I am tremendous dynamite!

Around mile 4, my legs take up the rhythm of my run and my mind floats away, cleaning house.  I see my day, my week, my work, my life more clearly.  I am zen.  I arrive home sweaty.  It's not a feminine glow.  It's beyond perspiration.  It is a symbol of my accomplishment. 

I have found my way.  My bliss.  Even my children recognize it.  When I am "up to here", my teenager will hand me my running shoes.  When I am meloncholy, a good run chases that dark cloud away.  When I am pensive, it becomes my meditation:  breathe, breathe, breathe.  There I go....

In the end, my run works for me on many levels:  it keeps me healthy.  My heart is strong, my muscles leaner, my cholesterol lower.  (My metabolism too!  I can eat more!)  But that was never my goal.  It's good for my head.  I get an hour vacation from everything.  A restart button.  My stress gets pounded out with every step.  But the greatest benefit:  empowerment.  I feel good.  I feel great about what I can do.  Ask any man:  there's nothing more beautiful than a woman who believes in herself:  confidence, assurance, bliss. 

One cannot get this bliss from shopping.  Surfing the internet will not take you there.  Work may leave you wanting.  Your honey bunny doesn't do it for you.  He can help you, though.  Take the time to do this for yourself, and you will be a happier person.  Less grumpy.  More energetic.  (better sex life!)  Imagine a new you. 

Imagine doing something that gives you more than it takes from you.  Something that makes you feel like the bomb.  All that power wrapped up in little you!  Your honey will be awed.  Your children will be proud.  You will be amazing!