My Chemistry Homework

My daughter is taking chemistry.  Sophomore year. She's into science, which I admire and envy at the same time.  Her English-major Mother avoided chemistry.  Even now, I prefer to call those tried-and-true reactions "Magic."

We enjoyed science experiments after school.  That little brain and I changed the liquid from red to blue:  Ooooh!  We created static electricity on a balloon and watched the salt leap up to attach itself:  cool!  We made our own playdough, silly putty, papier-mache.  We got the egg into the bottle.  We even transformed an oval egg into a square!  (vinager...)

But that Table of Elements.  Yawn.  There it is, on our kitchen wall.  We glance at it over ice cream.  We discuss.  We quiz ourselves.  Mostly I listen.  Make jokes...about myself.

My daughter's chemistry teacher had the audacity to give me homework last week.  I have to write, my teenager claimed, then nagged, how chemistry appears in our everyday lives.  Hmmm..  You mean it's my job to explain why she's learning this?

As that Liberal Arts Joke goes, I know nothing about chemistry.  I could write a poem for you...about chemistry...and what I don't know.

But I've got another profession up my sleeve:  Chef.  It's still slightly artsy, but there's science in there.  I get it.

I start with Yeast.  It's ALIVE!  Already this chemistry thing is cool!  In cooking school, I had the pleasure of waking up at four in the morning, trudging to school to make the bread.  Boulangerie.  Breadmaking.  This art/science has more chemistry than any other culinary art, alcohol aside!  Not only do we measure precisely when making bread, we also take temperature:  the flour, the water.  If your water is too warm, you will kill the yeast.  If it is too cold,  the yeast will not wake up.  Yeast creates a reaction in the mixture of flour, water, and salt that creates gluten.  Stretchy, gluten needs to rest after its creation.  The yeast, like The Blob, grows and oozes.  If you keep this reaction too cold, the process will stop.  If you keep this mess too warm, it really does become the Blob.

This chemistry lesson gives you wonderful yeasty holes in your baguette. Splash some water in your oven just before you slide in that baguette and the steam it creates will leave you with a shiny, crunchy crust.  (You know, the one you can't find to save your life at the grocery store...)  Eat a slice of this baguette while it's hot, and the gases created by the yeast will work on you, too.  You've been warned!

We make some quick bread.  Why is it quick?  No yeast.  No waiting around for the Blob.  Instead of yeast, we use Baking Powder.  Just a little.  It works like yeast: leavening for Impatient People.  What happens if we forget our baking powder?  You get quick brick.  No fluff.  No air in there.  No rising.  Chew it.  and chew it.  and chew it.  It's actually hard to eat.   It actually kind of hurts to swallow.  What happens if we beat our baking powder too hard?  Too much?  Tough bread.  Dry. Crumbly.  You're eating dust.  You've killed the chemistry. 

We make some brownies.  We praise the Judaic community for their anti-leavening stance.  No baking powder.  No baking soda.  No chemistry.  Just sugar, flour, butter, chocolate.   Why people think they need a box in order to make  these I'll never understand.

Transformation!  Transformation!  I can turn raw, sliced onions--onions that make you cry, attack your taste buds, make you burp--into sweet, caramelized jam with a little fat, a little heat, a long, long time.  I can chop some shallots, boil them in white wine until I have a millimeter at the bottom of my pan, add some vinager and do it again, and then, whisking like a madwoman, add knob after knob of butter until I have what some have deemed the best sauce in the world:  beurre blanc.  Thick, creamy, smooth.  Weird?  No!  Chemistry!  What is mayonnaise but egg yolks, mustard, and oil?   It's all in the technique.  And what is technique but chemistry,  step by step.  Creme anglaise is not creamy at all until you've heated your milk to transform the lactose. 

Chemistry.  No, you can't live without it.  You could live in ignorance, but  chemistry is cool.  It is magic, explained.  Even then, it still feels like Christmas morning when your sauce suddenly thickens, your souffle poufs, your angelfood cake rises and rises!

There's chemisty happening every second in our bodies.  Exchanges at the atomic level.  Firing of neurons.  Eat some chocolate.  Feel happy?  Chemistry!  Have a good cry!  Feel better?  Chemistry!  Spoon in that comfort food!  Those carbs--they make you feel better:  chemistry. We are, after all, Stardust. Every interaction we have with another person creates a chemical exchange at the atomic level!  Yes!  The people in your life truly do change and influence you!  Chemistry!   Knowing the Why doesn't take anything away from this experience.  It leaves you in awe of this World.  This Universe.  Ourselves.