Got Milk?

I realized my dilema a few years ago, although my body had been sending me not so subtle messages for as long as I can remember.  Pregnant with my first child, I would drink a mug of warm milk and honey before going to bed.  It seemed so storybook.  It should've been calming;  I ignored the tummyache, dismissed the flatulence as part of pregnancy, and stubbornly kept pouring myself my mug of milk. 

I grew up around cows.  They were an integral part of my cultural landscape.  Half of my classmates were famer's kids.  My small college town was also the largest stockyard for cow sales in southern Iowa.  You were reminded every Thursday.  Besides, everyone knows that milk is good for you, right?  My body was telling me otherwise.

I started to hear "lactose intolerant."  This was after I quit coffee (bad idea!), sugar (sad idea!), and wheat (nope, not that...)  My checklist of 'maybe it's this' was getting thin, so I looked at milk in my life and pondered what it would mean to eliminate it from my diet:  no more cookies dunked in a mug of milk.  Okay, that was never a good idea anyway.  I could eat a whole package of cookies just trying to finish off that milk...No more cereal for breakfast.  I could live with that.  No more strawberries and cream.  (moan...) No more ice cream...wait a minute...hell has no ice cream.  I wailed!

I rebelled.  Of course I did!  Nobody tells me what I can and cannot eat--not even myself.  It was a tribute to my stubborness.   There were consequences:  I ate my chocolate-peanut butter ice cream and watched my family slowly, subtely peel away from me during Movie Night.  "Was that the dog, or Mommy?" my little one would ask.  I had seconds on the potato gratin.  Of course I did;  I had worked years to perfect my recipe--the perfect ratio of cream and milk, just enough salt, a little garlic slowly baked into 10 layers of potato, bubbly, crusty, mmmm.  How could I give that up?  But I sat in my chair and felt my tummy bubble up.  My skin stretched in a painful way.  It lasted for a day and a half.  I couldn't wear my sexy jeans!

I was fighting a losing battle.  I was losing badly.  I switched to soy milk.  I made sorbet.  I made gratin but had a salad.  When  my kids have whipped cream on their strawberries, I splash on some creme de cassis.  It's a trade-off, but a happy life is absolutely a negotiation.

Milk cultures are a worldwide minority:  most of the world is lactose intolerant.  Our bodies are programmed to reject milk around the age of two.  Most Asians don't do milk.  Neither do Africans or Middle Easterns.  Look for cheese in a culture and they are milk-drinkers.  I don't feel so all alone in my world.

In fact, I've learned to listen to myself.  I've cut a lot of foods off my list because my body and I have learned how to communicate. (Okay, I learned to listen.)  I know that soda really doesn't quench my thirst.  It actually makes me thirstier.  I also figured out that I really only want one or two sips of my revered Dr. Pepper--more than that doesn't feel good. Those cute little goldfish crackers--we all love them, but I can eat a whole bag and still feel hungry.  Why is that?   Fast food hamburgers feel like a rock in my stomach--off my list.  Fries, give me 10 and I'm good.  Any more than that and I get sluggish.  I've figured out, after eliminated mostly processed foods from my diet that when I do indulge, the lesson is immediate.  The flip side is that when my body is boss and I give it what it needs, I totally get rewarded.  I can eat more, just differently.  I'm awake and aware.  If I eat well 4 or 5 times during the day, I can run like the wind for 10 miles (and I do!).

It was a hard lesson.  It took me too long to figure it out.  I still bake cookies and brownies, but I give a lot of them away.  I sleep better.  My sexy jeans rest on my hips.  My children cuddle with me on the couch. I've introduced a new question after dinner: "How did that make you feel?"  It's a good question for my little ones, whether it's food or friends or...I'm waiting, but it's coming...boyfriends.  Awareness.  Relationships.  Consequences.  Effects.  Feelings.